|
CodeRedAddict000
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Rochester
Birthday: 10/26/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: DDR, Women, my job, Team Denny's, Mindless Self Indulgence, System of a Down, Technizzo, South Park, Family Guy, being an asshole, ROCHESTER!
Expertise: DDR, ruining people's shit
Occupation: Sales
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  CodeRedAddict000
Member Since:
8/3/2003
|
|
| I suppose I should write this while I can since we're going back to Canada tonight and I don't know if we're going to have free internet next week.
This week was spent in the lovely, wonderf... Who am I kidding? Pretty dismal Syracuse, NY. I'd been here several times but nothing more than Carousel Mall. And truth be told, that's about all there is.
Monday I spent at Carousel meeting up with some old friends. I talked to Katy for the first time, even though we'd "known" eachother for a while. She invited me to hang at her apartment with Joe and Nick for tea and strumpets. We all just sat there shootin the shit until about 2am.
I got a call from my sister and my dad this week, once again concerning the family problems from before. But ever since I'd ripped my mom a new asshole on Christmas Eve, I've had no reason to speak with anyone about the whole situation. Even though I wanted to be apathetic to it, I couldn't. Its easier said than done. But for once, FINALLY, this time around, I can truly say I did not care. I've been a hell of a lot happier since Christmas due to the fact that I stayed out of it, and that's what I'm going to continue to do.
I thought it was funny when my sister told me that my mom said I wanted to crucify her. My dad told me that things are going to be getting very nasty very quick. After everything she put me through in the last decade and everything she confessed to me 2 weeks ago, I hope she suffers. I hope my dad makes this process as painstaking for her as possible.
Also for the record, for those who aren't aware, my dad and I get along great. We're not like incredibly close, but I do enjoy talking with him (not 1 sided lectures from him to me) and I enjoy his company.
Anyway...
Work this week was incredibly easy and stress free. For those who don't know, I've been made the program operator here. The job is so simple, all I do is make sure all the stands have enough stock, take plastic off helmets, push my crates backstage and I'm done. I do about a half hours worth of work every morning.
I have to actually sit down and do my books now to find out how much I made, and I also have to turn in reports to the office of how much the stands grossed the previous week.
So pretty much my weeks been work sleep and hang out with Katy and company. I brought my popn controller over to her house and let her borrow it for a couple days. I come back Saturday to get it and they said it worked with IIDX (apparently everyone else knew this but decided not to tell me.) I asked Chris to burn some IIDX games for me and now I'm all set to go with that.
I'm so tired right now, I just want to go back to bed. Good thing my job's not hard anymore. Hahaha | | |
| This is why I don't make long term plans...
I might end up going to MCC next year to get an associate's for
Business Management. I figure it'll only help me in reaching my
goal of being a manager here and getting my own show.
We'll see, I have to talk to Eula first, and perhaps even Pat.
Even though she says we can come to her for anything, I'm deathly
afraid of that woman. If they say it's a good idea, that it'll
expediate the reaching of my goals, then perhaps I'll consider.
Merry Christmas to everyone... except my mom. I totally ruined
her Christmas and it felt so good. Only a select few of you know
the entire story, but bottom line is she fucking deserved it. I
kept my mouth shut for a month, and I felt it was time to
unleash. I had a lot of pent up anger, and it definitely came out
explosively.
She's so stupid, and it wouldn't surprise me if her lies even continued
into our conversation last night. Hope she has fun with her new
life and with the decisions she's making. She doesn't realize she
has NO control over this situation, yet continues to twist arms to get
her way. She'll have no support of mine.
Ok, off to bed, peace.
| | |
| Ok so, its official, Canada can blow me.
Nothing went right today. Not a single god damn thing. First off, the train out of Buffalo had no checked luggage, so I had to carry ALL my stuff onto the train. Then the train was almost a half hour late. Fantastic.
I sat down in the train optimistic that things would go well. I was talking to Kayla and Dan about nothing in particular. I dunno why but I just got this empty feeling when the conversation stopped. So I decided to play some StepMania.
Soon enough we get to the border and Canadian customs come on the train like a bunch of damn nazis. They interrogate me as to where I'm from and where I'm going. Toronto for work. They told me that I needed to be taken back to the customs office and basically that this train would leave without me.
I get there and wait damn near forever for my work permit. Paid $125 for it. So now I'm down to a little over a hundred. They take me back to the bus station, which is next door to the train station.
The train station wouldn't refund my ticket because they're not Amtrak, which is bullshit because the ticket is from THEIR station.
So now I'm stuck in the bus station til 7:45. That sucks because I have to wait, and also because I hate the bus anyway.
Other things that suck... Today's music. With this My Chemical Romance, Yellowcard, Fallout Boy bullshit. What the fuck happened man? Its SO GAY. And what's worse is little teenyboppin bitches just keep eating it up. This is why System of a Down and Mindless Self Indulgence are a couple of my favorite bands, because they have a unique sound that THEY want, not the labels.
While I'm still pissed off, I'll go onto another thing that sucks, and that is that Amanda is stupid. She said my last post was ignorant and arrogant. Perhaps what's ignorant and arrogant is her giving a little editorial on shit she knows nothing about. I haven't talked to her or any of her friends in like 3 weeks. That's like reading a book in Greek and giving it a bad review. Seriously, I did nothing but laugh at her. Every time I see that bolded "Ignorance or arrogance?" at the top of page, I let out a chuckle, and it tickles me in a way that only the most ironic of irony can do. The fact that she had a new boyfriend and THEN said she loves him within a week of us breaking up is just completely fucked. And everyone I've told that to agrees with me.
I'll probably won't speak to her much again, but then again I don't really care. She's a tool, who is shamed by people worrying more about money than feelings. NEWS FLASH, I've said this MANY times before, that whoever said all you need is love is full of shit. I certainly don't want to be the one living in a run down apartment, or in the ghetto. Love can wait if it means getting myself on my feet and being financially stable.
She questioned her worth after out break up, "if I'm not worth your stay then what am I worth?" She tried to tell me I don't have to go to school, that I can just work and live in an apartment. And where would she be? In her dad's apartment, while he pays her tuition. I'm not gonna ask "if I'm not worth you leaving the house and coming to live with me and pay some bills, then what am I worth?" Instead I'm gonna replace what am I worth with "you've got another thing coming, lady. The real doesn't work that way, and you'll be sorry when you find that out for yourself."
I wasn't even gonna bring her up, but I guess I'm getting off my chest everything that really pisses me off at the moment. She's so dumb. However I'd like to preface my next statement with this...
A REGRET = a mistake that you acknowledge you've made in the past and refuse to learn from.
That being said, what I've learned from this. 1) No more long distance bullshit. I'm not staying in Rochester or anywhere for anyone. Ever. I've got my plan, and if you can't respect that, then tough titty said the kitty. And 2) No more high school girls. This includes girls who are just out of school on vacation. They're clueless as to how the real world works hence making beating your head against a wall more productive than arguing with them. No matter how mature they are, if they don't know what's going on, then it doesn't matter.
I'm done. I feel better now. I left Amanda a comment on her xanga and she deleted it which I take means she has no good argument. Perhaps I'll extend her the same courtesy if she leaves one here...
Happy Holidays America! See you next year! | | |
| Ladies and gentlemen, this is it. I have finally decided on a
goal for my life. One that is possible, one that is respectable,
and one that I can definitely say I'm doing for me and not because
anyone told me I should.
As a lot of you know, Amanda broke up with me. Whatever.
With all the crap that's come with that, I've just dropped it because
there's no point in getting worked up over it. I know where I
went wrong, but the bottom line is I don't regret it.
Every time I go home, my dad asks me what I want to do with my
life. Every time, I always tell him "I don't know yet." I
can confidently say that this time, when I do go home, and he asks me
that question, I will have an answer, and one I hope he can appreciate
and respect.
I don't feel like going to college. I can't even handle filling
out scholarship application essays for like half an hour. I don't
have the patience, the motivation, or even the want to do it. If
I were to go to school next year, it'd probably be a waste of money and
time because I can see myself going back on tour in December.
I have decided that I want to go on staff next year. I'd start at
the bottom as either the Issue Clerk or the Sales Coordinator.
Either way, they're both jobs with titles, both jobs that command
respect, and both jobs that come with a salary and benefits as well as
fringe benefits, and both jobs with great opportunities for
advancement. I threw away an opportunity to do it this year
because I thought I was going to go home and go to school and be with
Amanda. You see how quickly that changed...
I enjoy the lifestyle here. I love travelling, I like meeting new
people. I'm just growing tired of being an independent
contractor. Being an independent contractor has too many risks to
make any kind of career out of. There's no guaranteed pay, what
you do make can be lost or stolen, and some of the people are quite
less than honorable and have no problem snagging a hundred bucks if
given such an opportunity. I'm done trying to convince people to
go. It's something that has to be for you. Pat, the
supervisor, told us at the beginning of the year that "the life you've
chosen is difficult." But I like it. If others want to join
me, power to em, but I'm not going to try and convince them. So
here goes...
- I want to be able to go to work dressed up in a nice shirt, dress pants and shoes and a tie.
- I want to be in a position that commands respect.
- I want to be someone people look up to, someone that people can go to with their problems.
- I want to have people under me.
- I want salary and benefits.
- I want to not have to go home worrying about taxes,
- I want to not have to worry if I'm short or if I fucked up my books.
- I want to be someone that I can be proud of. When people
ask me what I do, I want to be able to hold my head high and tell them
the truth.
- I want to be able to go home and have my dad smile and shake my
hand and welcome me back rather than give me shit about
direction.
- I want to be the one he can place his faith in to go far.
- I want to prove myself to others.
- I want to be able to look certain people in the eye with the "look where I am now" look.
- I want to show everyone that I can be what they expect me to be and at the same time do something that I actually WANT to do.
As greedy or shallow as this seems, it all boils down to I want power,
because this day in age, that's what's needed to prove your worth or
show that you're somebody, and gain any kind of respect. I always
imagined where I'd be when I'm 20 years old. The truth is, any
kind of thoughts I had about that were way off. I never thought
of getting the opportunity to work with Feld Entertainment. Since
my 20th birthday, I've been doing a lot of reflection and consideration
as to where I want to be 5 years from now.
All this being said, my main long term goal now is to get the Manager position and one day get my own show.
Though it seems next fall is pretty far off, this last year has gone by
pretty quickly. And although I can say that I've made a few
mistakes, I don't regret them, but rather learn from them.
Hindsight may be 20/20 but if you're looking to the past, you've got
your back turned to the future.
So today was my last day with the Jungle tour. Load out was
easy. I owed nothing for my Exhibit C (score ^_^). There's
a lot of people I've gotten really close to here, especially Mike
Lee. He's stuck through it even during times where I was sure
he'd get fed up to his limit and go home.
Tasha has been fantastic. In my eyes, she single handedly united
the skaters and the concessions, something I didn't see on the other 2
shows I was on. The skaters would all be pompous pricks, but
through Tasha, we met a lot of the skaters and the skaters met a lot of
concessions people.
Sabrea has been doing a great job on her first year as a manager.
It's been an honor and a pleasure working with her. Rob always
did an awesome job as Sales Coordinator. If there was anyone I
could count on to joke around with but be serious when needed it was
him.
The rest for the most part are good people but less than
memorable. Still others I could go without ever seeing
again. I'm leaving this tour because, for one the money on
Monsters is a lot better, and also, this show seems like it's been
nothing more than a war between the tables and the operators. I
can proudly say I made the first retaliation which led to the rest of
the tables following suit. I don't take bullshit from anyone.
I said my goodbyes and the bus left to Wisconsin without me. I'm
staying overnight in the hotel for one more night then heading back to
Buffalo.
Today, December 12th, 2005, has been one of the lonliest days of my
life, but the day that I started paving my pathway to becoming
somebody. A year from now, I want to be able to look back at this
post and follow up on it. I'm not asking for anyone's help, but
rather their support. It seems the only one I can count on now
for unwavering support in any of my decisions is Dan. But that's
it. We'll see where this goes...
| | |
| The end of another year brings forth the beginning of a time of dark secrets being revealed.
My mom and the douche bag that married her are finally getting a divorce. The reasons why were quite a shock to everyone, however its not something I'm at liberty to publicly post. This though has caused my sister and I to ask a lot of questions that have been avoided for well over 10 years now. The biggest one is why did my mom and dad get divorced in the first place? My sister's 18, I'm 20, I think its damn near time that my mom starts explaining things.
Amanda broke up with me because I told her I wanted to come back on tour. I told her I'm not surprised that she did, but at the same time it sucks. Our paths our perpendicular and neither of us is willing to follow the other down their respective paths.
I've got to go down to Atlanta to confront my mother and start getting answers from her. There were several things not kosher about her and Jim's marriage and Ana and I are going to find out one way or another.
Monsters starts in 2 weeks. I'm going to miss only a couple people, the rest can go to hell. I'm done with this tour. Hopefully Eula gives me the sub stand for the Puerto Rico tour. That'd be tits.
Unfortunately, only time will tell what's going to happen... | | |
|
